


Return To Me

by Jane_Doe07



Category: Bellarke - Fandom, The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bellarke, F/M, Post Season 4, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-28
Updated: 2017-10-28
Packaged: 2019-01-09 02:16:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12266856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jane_Doe07/pseuds/Jane_Doe07
Summary: This is not at all how Bellamy had envisioned his return to Earth. Six years of waiting had afforded him ample time to daydream about what this fateful day would be like. In the darkness of space, Bellamy had often laid awake in his bed, picturing an earth healthy, restored, vibrant and strong. He had imagined the smells and tastes of the life so far below.What he had never pictured was coming back down in shackles.





	Return To Me

**Author's Note:**

> Bellamy and company are prisoners on the Eligis ship. After six years they finally return to earth, but what they find there will change everything.

This is not at all how Bellamy had envisioned his return to Earth. Six years of waiting had afforded him ample time to daydream about what this fateful day would be like. In the darkness of space, Bellamy had often laid awake in his bed, picturing an earth healthy, restored, vibrant and strong. He had imagined the smells and tastes of the life so far below.

What he had never pictured was coming back down in shackles.

 

For five years the group had survived. Space had been harsh and unrelenting-even more so than before, but they did it. With a combination of teamwork, Monty & Raven's combined IQ, dumb luck and the intense desire not to fucking die, they had managed to keep the Ark afloat. Five years had not gone by quickly or easily, but it had gone by and when day 1,825 finally arrived, everyone in the group had to hold back tears of joy.

Until they arrived of course.

Bellamy didn't know how, but he was sure they knew, somehow that they were planning on going back to earth that day. His friends had all but put on their hazmat suits when an enormous space craft had appeared and boarded them. With no weapons, and no time to plan, the group had no choice but to surrender. On the day which they were anticipating freedom and joy, they received fear and imprisonment.

A little over a year had passed on the miner's ship. Bellamy had caught glimpses of his friends and of his captors, but for the most part, he had been secluded in a small, solitary cell. So when the doors to his cell had opened and he had been taken to where the rest of his friends had been gathered, he should have been scared or at least nervous. But all he had felt was elation, grateful as he did a head count to find that all of his friends were still breathing. Their future and fate were unknown, but at least they were alive and together.

They shuffled the group onto a smaller ship, no discussion, no explanation. Their captors rarely addressed them, just moved them along like cattle. Bellamy knew what being a prisoner felt like, but at least Azgeda had given him a motive, a reason why. But their jailers remained silence. No demands, no interrogations, just silence. Bellamy couldn't decide what was worse.

That first step back onto the ground was filled with such an array of emotions. That same amazement and euphoria from their first landing on earth six years ago still lingered, but now it was twisted with alarm and fear; fear for himself, his friends and somewhere he hoped, his sister.

He wasn't given much of a chance to contemplate or to admire the astonishingly green surroundings before his captors marched them to what appeared to be a base camp. Bellamy took stock of his surroundings. There were large, camo printed tents everywhere, at least two or three dozen men and women that he saw, all adults and all busy. There were a few smaller air crafts, like the one they had landed in and other large machinery Bellamy didn't recognize but looked like enormous drills. Very few held weapons and there were no land transports that he saw. No one in his group had been blindfolded which meant either their abductors were over confident in their ability to keep them captive, or that they didn't care what their prisoners saw. Bellamy hoped it was the former, because if they didn't care what they saw, that meant they were expendable. And that didn't bode well for him and his friends.

Eventually they arrived at a tent on the outer ridge of the camp. Without words or ceremony, they were shoved inside, their hands and feet tethered to each other and to the tent's support post.

Everyone stayed silent until the guards finally exited.

"Anyone gonna say it?" Murphy's voice came out of the darkness, "We're back bitches."

The others responded with eye rolls and a 'shut up Murphy,' but Bellamy smirked just a fraction, the memory of his young, enchanted sister coming to mind.

"Everyone alright?" Bellamy asked, his eyes skimming the group.

Like a roll call, each person whispered that they were okay.

"Why did they bring us back here?" Harper asked quietly.

"Why did they take us in the first place?" Monty countered.

All good questions and all without answers.

The light was almost completely gone as night came over the camp. His friends faces now just dark silhouettes.

'Was everyone in solitary?" He asked.

All in company either nodded or murmured yes.

They needed to get out of here. They had no idea what these people had in store for them, but Bellamy was betting it wasn't going to be any good.

Just as Bellamy's wheels started turning about what they were going to do, a loud thud came from just outside the tent, followed by the sound of fabric ripping.  Everyone stilled, eyes turned towards the sound. A small beam of dim light came through the tent as an equally small person entered. Unsure if this person was friend or foe, the group stayed silent but began pulling on their restraints.

The new arrival stood up straight and pulled a touque out of her eyes, revealing the face of a young girl. The girl took them all in and smiled exuberantly.

"You're here!" She exclaimed at a whisper.

The group exchanged glances. She didn't look familiar, to any of them. The small stranger reached into a pocket and pulled out a knife. His friends all collectively stiffened, but the girl continued to smile as she practically skipped towards them.

Who was this girl??

Raven let out a small protest as the girl knelt beside her and reached for her binds. Ignoring or unaware of Raven's resistance, the girl cut the ropes at her wrists and then her feet. Upon this realization, the energy in the tent shifted and his friends adjusted themselves to better offer their restraints to the stranger.

When the girl reached Bellamy, he whispered to her,

"What's your name?"

"I'm Madi," the girl said cheerfully as she cut his ties. When she was finished, she looked up at Bellamy and squinted, as if trying to see him better in the dark. She smiled then and reached for something behind her back.

Even in the dim light, Bellamy could make out the shape of a pistol. Madi carefully laid it by his feet.

"She told me to give you that," another smile from the girl and then she moved on to Echo.

On reflex, Bellamy reached for the gun, opening the chamber to check if it was loaded. It was. This girl had snuck into their tent, cut them free and handed Bellamy a loaded weapon.

Okay, seriously, who was this girl.

"Madi," Bellamy called back to her, keeping his voice as calm and gentle as he could manage, "Do you know who I am?"

A childish giggle came from the girl as she continued to cut at the ropes, "You're Bellamy."

Madi looked up at the others, "And that's Echo, Raven, Murphy, Emori and Monty."

The girl smiled as if pleased with herself.

The group was completely baffled. How on earth???

Where had this girl learned who they were? And It went beyond just their names, Madi seemed to know them. She knew what they looked like, she knew to give Bellamy and not the others the gun, and she somehow knew they were in trouble.  It was possible she was with the group that had captured them and this was all an elaborate trap, but Bellamy's instincts told him it was something else.

The others looked at Bellamy for clarification. They seemed as confused and concerned as he was. Bellamy inched closer to the girl.

"Madi, how did you know that?"

"Hanofi told me," she replied, like it was the most obvious answer in the world. She finished cutting Echo loose and looked up at them, "She said to hurry, she'll be waiting for us."

Bellamy hadn't heard it or spoke it in years, but he recognized the Trigedasleng. All eyes went to Echo and Emori for translation. Emori looked confused but Echo answered the unspoken question.

"It means Princess."

 

And just like that, everything in the little tent stopped. No one moved or blinked or breathed. _Princess??_

No one had uttered that nickname in six years and the effect the word had on Bellamy was immediate. He felt his head spin and heard his heart beat loudly in his own ears, his skin tingled and his mouth went dry.  Bellamy closed his eyes and focused, forcing himself back to reality and thwarting the past reviving.  

He felt his friends glance his in direction, felt their concern. 

"Y-you don't think-" Monty started.

"No," Bellamy's voice came out harsher than he intended, "She's dead," he said, shooting down the idea before Monty could finish, before years of suppressed memories and pain began to resurface.

There was another explanation. 

Their small savior stood and looked at them expectantly.

"Well? Come on! We have to hurry!"

Now free from their ties, the group quietly got to their feet.

"This way," Madi called as she made her way to the opening she had cut earlier.

"Anyone else think this could be a trap?" Murphy whispered to them. Bellamy and Raven both cut him a look. "Just me? Okay then." Murphy replied and then proceeded to shut up.  No matter Bellamy's instincts, a trap was always a possibility, but they weren't in chains and Bellamy had a gun, that had to be an improvement at least.

With their options limited, the group followed the mysterious little girl.

As they stepped to the opening, the flap burst open from the outside. On instinct, Bellamy raised his gun.

 

He looked down the sights of the pistol to find a blonde haired blue eyed.... _princess_.....

"We have to go," the ghost called.

No one moved. Frozen in time, frozen in shock. It wasn't possible. It couldn't be possible.

"NOW!" The impossibility yelled at them.

Her command snapped the others out of their disbelief and they headed out of the tent, exchanging confused but heartfelt looks.

Bellamy was still standing in utter bewilderment as the rest left the tent.

"Clarke?" he didn't recognize his own voice. It was pained and hoarse and sounded of something from the past, something he buried within himself long ago.

"I know," Clarke replied, beckoning to the exit, "I know, but we have to go."

Somehow Bellamy regained the use of his legs and exited the tent. Unable to look at her, unable not to.

Just outside the tent, the unconscious bodies of their two guards lay slumped over one another, presumably the source of the loud thud they heard earlier.

"Madi?" Clarke called out quietly as she hauled the bodies into the tent.

The girl came up beside her with a smile that Clarke instantly returned.

"Good job deimaker," Clarke praised, then turned to the group, "Can you make it to the tree line?" She pointed to the edge of the forest some 20 yards away.

Everyone nodded, their earth survival kicking into gear. Clarke held Madi's hand as she checked the perimeter once more, then made a beeline for the trees. The others followed without hesitation, Murphy and Emori attaching themselves to Raven, ensuring she got to the edge, Bellamy bringing up the rear, pistol at the ready. No yelling or crashing or gun shots followed their departure. He hoped it stayed that way. A few yards into the forest coverage they all stopped to catch their breath and regroup. Bellamy didn't even fight it as his eyes kept shifting to Clarke.

_She was alive._

A hundred- a thousand questions frantically ran through his mind, but the only truth that really mattered stood five feet away from him.  She. Was. Alive.  It went against everything they thought for the past six years, but here she was. Alive. Bellamy's brain was having trouble processing this and it was possible that his heart refused to. The things they had gone through together, the person she had been to him..........

She looked different and yet the same. Same sun shone hair, but cut short with a streak of colour. Same ocean blue eyes, but sharper, less youthful. Same curvaceous and strong body, but she held herself differently. She was Clarke, but Clarke from a time he did not know and world he was no longer apart of.

She was beautiful.

A contorted whimper interrupted his thoughts as a tearful Raven dragged herself and her leg into Clarke's arms. Clarke stood stunned for a moment then wrapped her arms around her old friend. Raven wasn't known for showing affection, but no one questioned her physical need to connect with Clarke. He could easily relate to it.

"Shhhh," Clarke whispered into brunette hair, "It's alright, I'm alright." Raven shook with grief and relief once more before collecting herself and disentangling from Clarke.

The ghost looked at all of her friends, most with tears in their eyes.

"I know we all have a lot to talk about, and we will, but right now, we need to get out of here. The rover is this way," she gestured to a small trail headed north.

"The rover?" Monty asked.

Clarke just smiled and nodded, turning towards the path, Madi in tow. With the two of them leading, the group made their way into the dark of night, putting their captors of over a year, behind them.

Once again the earth brought beauty as well as danger.

Everyone was quiet, listening for the inevitable ruckus signalling that their escape had been discovered. But it did not come until they reached the crest of a hill, a mile or two above the camp. They stopped and turned their heads to the commotion below them. More lights flickered on and muffled commands were heard being bellowed.

"Secret's out," murmured Murphy.

"It's okay," Clarke said, "The rover's just through here." Clarke pulled a heap of vines away from a large slab of stone, revealing a cave. Just wide enough to fit the rover. Clarke beckoned them inside and made her way to the drivers side.

"Sorry if it's a bit cramped," Clarke called to them.

As the back door was opened, the reason for her explanation became evident. Dried herbs hung on the sides, sleeping bags and blankets had been rolled and tucked beneath the benches, articles of clothing were bundled in a corner. It seemed the rover had not only survived, it had been Clarke and Madi's home.

Somehow they all managed to climb into the back, Emori and Harper having to practically sit on their significant others. Bellamy sat in the back corner. The impulse to sit up front with Clarke hit him sharply, but as Madi clamored into the passenger seat, Bellamy ignored the sting and took his place in the back quietly. This was her home- their home- he was the stranger now.

"Seat belt, deimaker," Clarke chided Madi, eyebrow raised like a disapproving mother, and like a petulant teenager, Madi rolled her eyes but complied. Clarke gave the reaction a half smile.

Bellamy could count on one hand how many times he had seen Clarke smile, and here she was, like it was the most natural and normal thing for her to do. _Thank god she hadn't been alone._

"Everyone all set?" Clarke called. His friends nodded and someone told her yes. He ignored the glances in his direction. He knew they were expecting him to take charge or at the very least, speak, but Bellamy hadn't been able to find his voice; too strangled by emotions to form words.  

The rover thundered to life and with the dim headlights, Clarke drove into the forest.

"Where are we going?" Emori asked, leaning into the front of the cabin.

"Becca's lab," Clarke replied, "It's only a half a day's ride from here now that the lake has dried up, and last time I was there the electricity and alarm system were still working. Should give us some time."

"The lab survived?" Raven leaned in as well.

"It did. It kept me alive," Clarke answered.

A tense silence came over the group, more looks in his direction, more expectations of action or inquiry. Raven took pity on him, asking what he couldn't bring himself to.

"Clarke," her voice soft, "How did you....."

"I take it you guys couldn't hear me after all," Clarke replied, a touch of sadness in her voice.

"Hear you?" asked Murphy.

Clarke sighed and glanced at Madi who had begun to look a bit dejected herself.

"I tried to radio. I couldn't hear you but I thought...maybe....." she let her sentence hang, knowing they would understand, "Anyways, the nightblood worked.  It took a week or so, but eventually the radiation sickness subsided and after a few months, I was able to go outside."  

The group was silent for a moment before Monty spoke up.

"And the bunker?"

Bellamy could feel Clarke's eyes on him as she glanced at the rear view mirror.

"I haven't heard anything. The..." Clarke had to clear her throat before continuing, "Polis is buried under rumble."

The information washed over the group.

"W-we tried digging them out but..." Clarke's voice trailed off. Madi scooted closer and laid her head on Clarke's shoulder in unspoken sympathy; painful memories the two clearly shared.

Bellamy's gut twisted hearing all of this. He prayed his sister was alive, that the bunker and it's inhabitants had somehow survived the extra year. Looking at Clarke, it was hard not to think that the impossible could be possible. Knowing Clarke was alive was one thing, but knowing that she had been calling to them, that he could have heard her voice, could have spoken to her and somehow been a part of the last six years of her life??? Well that was something else entirely. Bellamy couldn't help the nauseated feeling engulfing him.

Raven's quiet voice came out of the silence,

"Clarke, the day we left... what happened?"

"The satelite dish wouldn't align. I had to climb the tower and move it manually," Clarke spoke without hesitation or discomfort, her voice was strong; the words and their memory coming without pain or struggle, "There wasn't enough time to make it back."

Raven's face crumbled a little as she put the pieces together of just what had happened to Clarke that day.

Bile rose up in Bellamy's throat.

Raven muttered, "Clarke I-"

"Stop the rover," Bellamy called out. All eyes turning to him.

"Bellamy, what-"

"STOP THE ROVER," Bellamy shouted.

The rover had barely come to a halt when Bellamy opened the back door and jumped out, making about three steps before he bent over, retching the putrid taste from his mouth. It was as if his body was physically rejecting the past 6 years; the pain, anger, guilt and grief all attacking his insides. Tears of unknown origin blurred his vision as his stomach revolted. He had made a decision that day, so long ago, one he knew would haunt him. But it seemed the new reality of Clarke being left alive, having to suffer this world alone _because_ of his decision was even more revolting.

Murmuring came from the rover and he heard a door being opened and shut.

"I'm fine, Clarke," he said, knowing it was her before she came into view.

"No, you're not," her hauntingly familiar voice replied, as a canteen was shoved in front of him.

Bellamy spat out the remaining bile and begrudgingly took the canteen, hoping she wouldn't notice his shaking hands or the general effect her renewed existence was having on him.

"Go back to the rover, I'll be there in a minute," he told her, unable to meet her eyes.

Clarke sighed and leaned against a nearby tree ignoring his request.

"We've been here before you know. Metaphorically speaking," she said, looking up to the sky before continuing, "It was a couple of days after I escaped Mount Weather. We were trying to find Finn. It was night."

Bellamy instantly pictured her face, lit by the fire, bruises and cuts on her cheekbones and brow, but beautiful nonetheless. Clarke shifted to face him.

"Do you remember what you said to me that night?" Her voice unnervingly calm.

As if he could ever forget. As if he hadn't replayed every moment, every word spoken between them over and over again the past six years.

"It's not the same," his voice coming out like gravel. He knew where she was going with this and he didn't think he could bare it.  Bellamy's chest burned at the idea that even now, after all this time, she could see right to the core of him, that she knew what was eating his insides, what was causing him to keep his distance from her.  

"You told me it had to be done. That closing the dropship door to save everyone, had to be done," Clarke shifted to face him, "We've both had to make impossible decisions, Bellamy and we both made the right one."

Bellamy exhaled sharply, the memory cutting like a dagger. He shook his head and began walking away.

"Would you have wanted me to wait?!" She caught up to him, placing herself in his path, "The day the grounders came, would you have wanted me to wait? Even if it meant more of our people dying? Even if it meant _me_ dying?"

 

He snapped then,

"You _did_ die!" Bellamy cried out without thought, "You were dead for _six years_!"

How could she be so calm?! How could she seem so unaffected by the hell they'd been put through, together and a part?! Her death had weighed on him for six years. The guilt had been his burden, a price he paid. It had become a part of him, affected how he lived, how he thought, how he lead. That kind of guilt just didn't evaporate now that she was alive. In some ways, it made it worse. He didn't know what he could say to explain the emotional whiplash he was going through right now. So he said nothing and simply stared at her, the embodiment of his guilt.

Clarke paused, her expression confused and pained. She took a step closer to him.

"You think you didn't die too? That every day I didn't think about whether or not you all were still alive? That maybe, what I had done hadn't been enough? And a year ago, when _you_ were supposed to return and never did?  Do you think in my mind you didn't die then too?"

Bellamy looked away, the picture she described making more bile churn in his stomach. The idea of her waiting on this earth for their- his- return...........He ached at once to pull her close and push her away.

Clarke stepped closer to him, her voice now quiet and cruelly soft, "You died too, Bellamy."

Bellamy shook his head, feeling the fight in him wearing out.

"If I had waited...." his voice trailing off.

"Then we'd all be dead," she replied immediately, "I would have died trying to get back and you would've died waiting. It was my decision to stay behind that day. You don't get to own that, Bellamy."

Her tone was somewhere between the girl who had wept in his arms and the girl who had defied and berated him. _God how he had missed her voice._ Bellamy knew what she was saying, that what he did had to be done, that she forgave him for something she didn't even feel needed forgiveness. He wished so badly for it to be true, for it to be that simple.

"I'm glad you're not dead," he finally said gruffly.

Clarke's eyes crinkled slightly in humour at what he now was deeming the understatement of the century. _Glad. Bah._

"Well, not for lack of trying," she replied, with equal quiet amusement.

The tension between them had receded, leaving a somewhat awkward, shy silence. It was so strange, that she could at once be the person he knew most in the world, and at the same time, the least. Her almost biblical resurrection still left him stunned. Somehow he had landed in a world where his dreams actually came true.

"Come on," she motioned to the rover, "Let's get back."

Bellamy nodded, his head clearing and returning back to their mission at present. He didn't know how far six years had drifted them apart, but was sure as hell grateful for the chance to find out.

 

 

* * *

 

 

It only took a few hours to get to the lab, which was eaten up quickly by questions and conversation. Bellamy still remained fairly quiet, but spoke up often enough to let her now he hadn't completely disappeared. She asked them about the past six years, about the Ark and about their abduction. It was so surreal to have them with her again. Everyday she had watched the sky for their return, and now they finally had. Present danger be dammed. She tried to capture each one of them in her mind, to figure out what had changed and what remained the same. The petty feeling of being an outsider to their recent history was dwarfed by the simple joy of just listening to them speak.

It had been a long six years.

She knew Madi watched the whole interaction with unguarded glee. These were the people she had grown up hearing about, people she had looked forward to meeting one day.

The pieces of her scattered family were finally coming together.

 

Eventually, the forest opened to reveal a large clearing where Becca's lab still stood. This part of the forest sat just a mile or two away from what Clarke and Madi had deemed 'skafa kapa' or 'hell's city.' The place where nothing grew, where fire still burned and hell still ruled. It was a miracle the lab had remained upright throughout the years, a miracle Clarke was grateful for everyday.

"Home, sweet, home," Clarke murmured as she drove the rover up to the lab.

"No drones?" Raven asked, looking to the sky.

"Offline," Madi replied, holding up a weather beaten remote with wires and circuits protruding.

Raven smirked, "If I remember you and electronics, I don't know how you pulled that off."

"Lots of trial and error," Clarke grumbled, memories of small electric shocks coming to mind.

" LOTS," chimed in Madi with a teasing grin on her face.

" _Madi_ ," Clarke chided as chuckles of laughter came from their companions in the back. The young girl bit her lip, suppressing a giggle.

Clarke pulled the rover into the garage and killed the engine. Without hesitation, Madi opened her door and jumped down, heading for the entrance. She knew this place as well as Clarke did.

The others slowly followed suit, a little unnerved by the place they had once known. But back then, it had a different occupation, served a different purpose. Now, it had been a shelter for both Clarke and Madi when they needed it the most.

"This way," Clarke gestured to the door Madi had gone through moments before.

She walked through the threshold into her place of refuge. A few dim chemical lamps lit the large open space.

"Madi, could you-"

"Get the lights! I'm on it!" The girl hollered from the second floor. Clarke smiled to herself at the girl's eagerness. She heard the others enter, carefully making their way into the room.

An electric whir came from above and the lab flickered into life.

Several gasps came from behind her. She turned to see what was wrong, only to find every one of her comrads staring. Not at her, but at the lab, specifically its walls.

"Oh yeah," Clarke said, following their gaze, "That."

Floor to ceiling, on every wall she could manage, were drawings. Drawings of anything and everything she could think of.

Clarke shrugged off her friends' astonishment and continued into the lab,

"I couldn't go outside for weeks after Praimfaya. I had to do something," she explained casually.

"I didn't know you could draw like this," Harper's soft voice spoke up as her and the others further investigated the artwork.

Clarke again shrugged it off. She had always loved to draw, but hadn't always had the opportunity to do so under the best of circumstances. Drawing was something she often ended up doing while she waited. In the skybox, while she waited for her trial, in Mount Weather, waiting for her opportunity to escape, in Polis, waiting for peace or war. Here, six years ago, she had waited to see if she would live or die, and if she did die, she wanted to be surrounding by everything she loved. Even if it was just a picture. But she had survived, and once she found Madi, the walls became chalkboards, every drawing a lesson or a story to be told.

"Guys!" Emori exclaimed as she stared up at the living room wall. Clarke's stomach twisted as the others made their way to see.

"It's........ us," Emori whispered.

She was right, spattered across the wall's expanse were the faces of her friends and family. Even Echo found her likeness amongst the others. All except one.

As the others laughed in awe over the drawings of themselves- something they may never have seen before- one pair of eyes turned to the ground.

Bellamy was not on that wall. Or any wall in the lab.

 

Madi came down the stairs and Clarke took the opportunity to divert the others' attention.

"Water should be up and running, if anyone wants a shower," Clarke announced. She was rewarded with joyful looks and noises. Clarke smiled and wrapped her arms around Madi's shoulders, standing in front of her.

"Well, you guys clean up, relax, and Madi and I will make some dinner," she looked down at Madi who smiled up at her.

Already knowing where the bedrooms and bathrooms were, the group made their way up stairs, a hum of conversation about shampoo and eating anything other than algae. Bellamy hesitated at the foot of the staircase and looked back at her.

"Security?" was all he asked.

Clarke gave a half smile. Some things didn't change.

"The drones are back online and we have perimeter alarms set up," she answered him reassuringly, "If they come, we'll know."

Bellamy just nodded somberly, his eyes leaving hers as he turned to make his way up the stairs.

Clarke sighed, a part of her wishing she could follow him, talk to him and explain things. Their conversation in the woods may have broken the ice between them but there was still so much to be said. She knew they weren't there yet though, so she put on a smile and turned to Madi,

"So what's on the menu tonight, deimaker?"

* * *

About an hour later, everyone was downstairs enjoying a simple, but satisfying dinner. The group was obviously rejuvenated. A meal and a shower could do wonders, as Clarke knew well. Monty and Harper, and Murphy and Emori drifted off every now and then, stealing some moments alone after such a long time a part. Clarke was happy to find the couples still together, grateful that years of harsh living and time a part had not destroyed that at least.

"Madi," Clarke called, "Could you take this upstairs to Bellamy?" she asked, handing her a plate of food. Clarke had observed his absence immediately and hoped he would appear at some point. But the food was getting cold, so making sure he was fed would have to suffice.

Madi nodded and took the plate, heading to the stairs.

"She's a cute kid," Raven said quietly beside her.

Clarke turned to her and smirked, "Most of the time."

Raven smiled in return, but it faded as her eyes went back to the staircase.

"He'll come down, Clarke," her hand coming to rest on Clarke's wrist, "Just give him time."

Clarke looked at her friend, a little surprised by her candor and intuition.

Raven gave her wrist a small supportive squeeze before turning to the others.

It felt odd to have someone openly take note of her concern for Bellamy, but then again, no one more than Raven understood the odd relationship between the two of them. Maybe six years hadn't changed that at least....

 

 

* * *

 

 

Bellamy was looking out the bedroom's window when he heard a soft knock at the door. Before he could answer, a head of brown hair appeared in the doorway.

"Hey, Bellamy," Madi said, smiling at him.

Despite Bellamy's glum mood, it was nearly impossible not to smile at the enthusiastic girl.

"Hi, Madi. Come in," he gestured.

Madi entered without hesitation, a tray of food and drink in her hands.

"You didn't come down for dinner so Clarke told me to bring you some. Your friend Murphy said it's better than space food, but he would've added more salt," she said with a slightly confused look on her face.

"I'm sure it tastes great, thank you, Madi," he said, taking the tray from her and placing it on the table by the bed.

"What's space food taste like?" Madi asked.

Bellamy gave her a half smile,

"Have you ever ate seaweed? Or grass before?" he asked her, thinking it was the best comparison to Monty's algae casserole.

"Uh huh," Madi answered.

"Well it kind of tastes like that," he gave her a little grin, "but soggier."

The face the girl made in response was well worth it. Bellamy couldn't stop a chuckle or two escaping.

Hoping to rid her mind of the distasteful space menu, Bellamy grabbed one of the rolls from the tray and tossed it in her direction. She caught it at the last minute, her smile returning. Madi took a bite out of the roll and sat on the edge of the bread.

"When did you eat seaweed?" Bellamy asked.

"When there was nothing left to eat," Madi replied plainly, "But hainofi knows how to cook it over a fire, so it didn't taste too bad," she said as she munched on the roll.

Bellamy frowned at that. Trying to picture what life would have been like for the two of them, what survival would have been like.

"How old were you when Clarke found you?" Bellamy asked, trying to keep his voice soft and undemanding. Besides the fact that this girl made him ache for Octavia, she was also a window into what Clarke had gone through the past few years. It was entirely possible that Madi knew Clarke far better than Bellamy ever did and Madi had been there for her when Bellamy hadn't; all of which made Madi special to him.

She squinted, trying to think.

"Six I think."

"You must have been very brave to survive all on your own," he told her, leaning against the opposing wall from where she sat.

Madi swallowed her bite of roll and looked up at him.

"Why?" She asked, "There was nothing left to be scared of. Everything and everyone was dead. No warriors or animals to kill you. There was nothing to fear except death," she told him.

Bellamy stared at her, for once seeing beyond the youthful, exuberant exterior to the young woman who knew exactly what this world was capable of.

But the moment passed as Madi turned back to her roll and took another bite.

"What was space like?" She asked him with curiosity.

"Cold and dark," he said flatly. Although it had saved him from Praimfaya, he had no love of space.

"Hainofi used to tell me stories about it. She called it a castle in the sky," Madi said dreamily. Bellamy did not wish to darken the girl's vision, so he kept his cynical thoughts of the comparison to himself.

"Well, it seems you have your own castle, here," Bellamy gestured to Becca's re-purposed lab.

Madi smiled and looked around her home.

"That's what I thought when Clarke first brought me here."

Something dawned on Bellamy.

"Is that why you call her princess?" he asked.

Madi's smile grew as she looked at him, "When my parents were still alive, they used to tell me stories. There was one story about a beautiful princess with long blonde hair who lived in a tower," Madi shrugged, "When Clarke found me, her hair reminded me of that story and then she brought me here."

"To her tower," Bellamy finished with a half smile on his face. How many stories had he told Octavia? How many princes and princesses and warriors had Bellamy imagined and created for his sister's entertainment?

"I thought she _had_ to be the princess from the story," Madi continued shyly, "It's silly, I know but-"

"No it's not," Bellamy told her, "I used to- _we_ used to call her princess too, a long time ago."

He had no reason to tell her this, other than the fact that he felt he should, that this was something they shared.

"Really!?" Madi asked, smile and enthusiasm returning.

Bellamy nodded, "It suits her."

Madi shifted to sit more comfortably on the bed, settling in.

"What was she like, back then?" the girl asked.

Bellamy sighed and came to sit beside her. He realized that as curious as Bellamy was about who Clarke was now and what she had been through, Madi must have been equally curious about who Clarke was then.

"She was fierce, and brave," he began, "She was always serious and never slowed down. She didn't smile very much but when she did....well you knew it was for something special," he looked at Madi then, "And she always did everything she could to protect the people she cared about."

Madi sat quietly, looking out the glass window, probably trying to imagine her guardian in that different time.

Bellamy softly nudged his shoulder with hers,

"Is she all that different now?" he asked, playfulness masking seriousness.

Madi looked at him with a small smirk, "No. She's definitely still serious and verrrry strict when it comes to lessons," she explained, then frowned a little, "But I think she smiles more."

Bellamy exhaled, "I think so too, and I think that has something to do with you," he gave the girl another small nudge.

The girl blushed and looked away.  

 "Thank you, for taking care of her, Madi," he said softly.  

A wide, beaming smile appeared on her face.

"You're welcome," she said proudly, "It's a thankless job, really."

Bellamy let out a loud, genuine laugh.

"I'm glad you all came back," Madi said with a smile, "I was starting to think the stories about you weren't real and hainofi made them all up."

Bellamy looked at her curiously.

"So she told you about us then?" He asked.

Madi nodded, "Everyday.  When I was younger, she would tell me all about the bad children and the dying sky castle and the monsters you had to fight," Madi explained, eyes glimmering with nostalgia, "I loved it.  I made her tell it to me every night before I went to sleep."

Bellamy scoffed, "Not much of a bedtime story."

Madi shrugged, "It was for me.  She would tell me about two headed deer, and the dropship, and the mountain.  She told me how brave and smart all of you were."

Bellamy inhaled, a little taken back by the flood of memories.  

"So that's how you knew who we all were when you came into the tent?  From Clarke's stories?'  He asked.  

"Well that, and the drawings," Madi answered.  

Bellamy swallowed, "But I'm not in the drawings, and you knew who I was."

Madi, confused, looked at him, "Hainofi draws you all the time, but she always gets mad and crumples up the paper every time; says she can't draw you right," Madi shrugged, "I don't know why, you look just like her drawings.  Except for the beard."

Bellamy passively rubbed his beard, murmuring, "I didn't have one then."

When he had seen everyone else's image on the lab walls except his own, he had pushed aside the disappointment.  A dark part of him thought that maybe she really did hate him for leaving her, and that's why he wasn't in the mural.  Or maybe he simply hadn't meant anything substantial to her.  He hated either option and hated himself more for being insecure enough to think them.  

But now, now he had to ignore the fluttering in his stomach and the vision of Clarke, stenciling the intimate details of his face.  

Bellamy cleared his throat in an attempt to clear his mind, and focused back on Madi.  

"Well, you've met us now.  Sorry if we didn't live up to your story's expectations," he gave her a half smile.  

Madi looked Bellamy up and down, "I'll get back to you on that."  

Bellamy laughed again at the girl's teasing nature.  

Madi spoke with a more wary tone.

"But, Bellamy," she said, "These monsters, they aren't like the ones you and Clarke fought, are they?"  

Bellamy sighed and shook his head, "No.  No, I don't think they are."

The girl just quietly nodded, taking in the reality that she was now apart of her own story.  

"I'm sorry you thought she was dead," Madi said softly and sincerely, her eyes lowered.  

Bellamy took a deep breath, collecting himself. 

"Me too, kid."

"So you really never heard her?  On the radio?" Madi asked with a sad expression.  

"I wish I had, Madi, I really do," is all he could tell her.  This young girl, full of life, was making Bellamy's heart ache.  She showed so much love and caring for Clarke, she had welcomed his friends-a group of strangers- into her home with an eager smile, she had even bravely gone into that tent yesterday to help save them.  It was almost overwhelming how much he was wishing he could have been there, to help Clarke raise this girl, to help protect her.  It was like looking into a window of a possibility, of a life- a family- he was so close to having.  It hurt.  

"I think she missed you," Madi said shyly, "You were her best friend and I.... I think she missed you."

Bellamy paused from his painful day dream to look at her, "Did she tell you that?" 

 "No. But you were the one she talked to everyday, and all of her stories had you in them," Madi explained. 

Bellamy's brows knit together in confusion, "Talk?  How do you mean?"

Madi sighed, "Every morning she would take the radio out and call your name.  Even when you didn't say anything back , she would just keep talking."

Bellamy stood up, his body itching to move, to react somehow to this.  Clarke hadn't just called to the Ark, she had called to _him_.   How could he have missed that?  How could the world have been so cruel to deprive him of that?  

"S-should I not have told you that?" Madi looked at him, a little nervous as she took in his anxious demeanor.  

"No!" Bellamy exclaimed, turning to the girl, "No, you should have," he collected himself a little and knelt by the bed, "I'm glad you told me, Madi, I'm just...... I'm just sad I didn't hear the radio."

Madi nodded, "Me too."

The gave each other sympathetic half smiles.  

Madi's eyes turned to the tray on the table. 

"Your food's getting cold," She said, "I should go and let you eat."

Madi rose from the bed and headed to the door.  

"Thank you again, Madi," Bellamy called to the girl.  She turned in the doorway and gave him another smile before leaving him alone in the room.  

He started pacing the room, thoughts too out of control for his body and brain to be still.  Bellamy tried to piece together what he had learned in the past ten minutes.  Clarke had basically adopted this girl and cared for her for the past 5 years or so, and done a good job if he had any say on the matter.  Madi clearly loved Clarke and looked up to her.  And thanks to Clarke's stories, Madi seemed to look up to the rest of them as well.  God he would give almost _anything_ to hear Clarke tell Madi a story.  To hear her voice, soothing and gentle as she turned a terrible memory of a terrible day on earth into a fairytale.  He was fighting the intense urge to march down there and demand she tell him everything, every word, every story, every call over the radio, everything.  He wanted to know it all, to hear it all; he wanted it so badly his bones ached.  

Leaving Clarke on earth was the hardest thing Bellamy had ever done.  In order to survive space, in order to simply just _survive_ , he had mourned her, he had grieved for the loss and then forced himself to put away her memory, bury it in a deep, dark place in his heart.  He couldn't function if he didn't, couldn't handle the guilt and the pain of just missing her.  Only very late at night, when he tossed and turned, did the pictures and memories of her come to him without his consent.  

But Clarke?  Clarke hadn't done that at all.  She had lived and breathed the memory of her friends and of him.  She created bedtime stories out of the wars they had fought, the obstacles they had overcome.  She had told him, in the woods, that there were many times where she thought they all might be dead, but clearly, she had never given up.  The fact that she radioed, searching for them,  frustrated Bellamy, but the fact that she had radioed _him_ , had reached out specifically to _him_ , devastated him.  How could he have given up hope?  How could he have just let her go like that?  He felt deeply ashamed and unworthy.  

Bellamy leaned his back against the wall, letting his body melt to the floor as he hung his head.  

In so many ways, Bellamy felt he had failed Clarke.  Failed by leaving her in the first place, failed by not catching her radio signal, failed by giving up hope that maybe she could have survived.  In Bellamy's heart, he knew, that aside from Octavia, Clarke had been the next most important person in his life.  In the six months they had been together on the ground, their relationship had taken many different shapes, but it had ended undefined and unresolved; neither one thing nor the other.  Now, after so much time, the outlines of who they were to each other were even more blurry. 

Bellamy rubbed his face and took a deep breath.  He realized he had come to a cross roads.  He could continue to live in the past, to think about all that could have been, to get eaten up by guilt and grief......Or, he could open his eyes, realize what was in front of him and try, TRY to forget about the past.  Clarke was alive.  Yes they were running from an unknown adversary, and the bunker was still silent, but she. was. alive.  For the sake of everything she had been to him and everything she could be, Bellamy needed to let the past go.  He could not change it, he could not bring it back.  But today, he could start taking advantage of the impossible gift he had been given.  

Bellamy rose from the wall and stepped towards the door.  

And it started right now.  

 

* * *

 

 Clarke heard Madi come down the stairs before she saw her.  The first floor was quiet now, as everyone else had gone up to get some rest.  

"Hey deimaker, want to come help me with the dishes?" 

"Sure," called Madi, happy as always to be of use.  

They stood beside each other facing the sinks.  Clarke washed, Madi dried, as per their norm.  They stayed in relative silence, Clarke trying her damnedest not to ask the girl what had taken her so long.  Obviously Madi and Bellamy had talked, but what about?  And why did she care so much?  It was none of her business anyway, Clarke told herself, and remained silent.  

Madi on the other hand....... 

"Are Monty and Harper a couple?"

"Yes," Clarke answered.  

"Like you and Lexa?" 

Six years after Lexa's death and the name still brought pain, but it had dulled significantly over the years.  Clarke's response came easily without discomfort.    

"Sort of.  Lexa and I loved each other, like Monty and Harper do, but we never got a chance to _be_ in love with each other.  Do you understand?"  Clarke asked.  Madi was an inquisitive young girl and always had been, therefore, nothing really in Clarke's life had been off limits to the girl.  She'd gotten used to the endless questions.    

"Because she died?" Madi asked.  

"Yes that, and well... our worlds were just a little too far apart, deimaker," Clarke explained.  

Madi nodded in response and reached for the next dish.  Madi was smart, but in so many ways, she was sheltered.  She knew how to survive, but most of her experience with people and with love came from her relationship with Clarke, and the stories she told her.  With her friends returned, this would be an entirely new type of lesson for Madi.  

"And Bellamy?" Madi asked.  

Clarke fumbled with the dish in her hands as she felt her cheeks begin to burn. 

"W-what about him?"  

"Did you two never get a chance because he thought _you_ died?" 

Clarke cleared her throat, determined to keep her composure and turned to the girl.  

"What are you getting at Madi?"

Madi shrugged, the unconcerned air of a child, "You just always smile when you talk about him."

An all too observant child it seemed.  

"Bellamy......" Clarke began, but realized she had to choose her words carefully.  Her relationship with Bellamy was something she could barely put into words for herself, nonetheless for Madi to understand.   

".........Bellamy was a special kind of friend.  The kind you that you can trust no matter what, who forgives you when you've made them angry, who's there for you when you're in pain....... the kind of friend who doesn't want you to be alone......" Clarke's mind drifted through a sea of memories.  

"Was," Madi said. 

"What?" Clarke turned to her.  

"You said he was a special friend.  Is he not anymore?"  She asked.  

Clarke sighed and put a small smile on her face, "I hope he is."

To be honest, she hardly knew.  Part of her still felt the same pull, the same connection to him as she had years ago, but Bellamy just seemed so far away, she didn't know if there was anything to rebuild.  

 "If he's your friend, then why does he look so sad when he talks about you?"  Madi's inquisition continued, her last question stabbing Clarke's heart as she pictured Bellamy's somber face.  

Clarke dried her hands and then took Madi's shoulders, gently turning the girl to face her.  

Clarke kneeled in front of her, which was redundant now that the girl had grown, but was something she always did when she had to explain something important or difficult.  

"Madi, do you remember when your parents died?"  Clarke's voice was soft.  

Madi nodded. 

"Do you remember how hard that was?" 

"Yes," Madi answered, her voice cracking a little.  

"Now I want you to imagine if today, they just appeared.  They were all of a sudden alive and here now with you.  You'd be happy, right?  But eventually, you might start to think about all the time you missed with them, about all the things you wish you could have done with them and shared with them if you hadn't been apart.  You might even start to think about what you could have done differently, so that you would never have been parted form them in the first place.  And when you looked at them, you'd see your parents, but you would also start to see all the years they weren't there.  Do you think that would make you sad?  Or maybe even angry?"  Clarke asked.

"Maybe.... probably," the girl answered, sadness looming on her face.  Clarke hated to bring up Madi's parents and make her upset, but it was the best comparison she had.  

"Well that's kind of what's happening with Bellamy," Clarke explained as her own tears began to form, "Yesterday he thought I was dead, and then we just appeared, out of nowhere.  So just like you, he's going to think about all the things he's missed, and that's going to make him sad."

"And that's okay?" Madi asked, looking so much younger than 12.  

 She brushed Madi's hair from her face and planted her hands gently on the girl's shoulders. 

"Listen to me, deimaker.  It's always okay to feel sad.  It means you care."

"And Bellamy cares about you?  About us?"

"Of course he does, Madi," Clarke replied without a moment's hesitation.  She stood up and wrapped her arms around the girl, for her comfort and Clarke's, "Of course he does..."

That was the kind of friend he was- the kind of person Bellamy was.  It didn't matter how much time had passed, or how little they knew about each other now, Bellamy would always care about her.  She had more faith in that than she did in the sun rising tomorrow.  Now that Clarke had someone as precious as Madi in her life, she didn't hesitate for a moment in knowing he would care for her too.  This unconditional regard and concern they had for one another is what made their relationship special, what made it so much more than just friendship......and it was something she had desperately missed.  

 

Someone in the room cleared their throat.  Clarke looked up to find Bellamy, stepping off the stairs.  Clarke blinked the remaining tears from her eyes and disentangled herself from Madi. 

"Madi could you give us a moment?"  Clarke looked down at the girl, "I think it's time for bed anyways."

Madi nodded and turned to go.  Bellamy had come down from the steps and was walking towards her.  

"Goodnight Madi," he said.  

Madi paused a few feet away from him, before throwing her arms around his waist in a brief, unexpected hug.  

"Goodnight, Bellamy," she mumbled into his shirt.  Bellamy was a bit taken aback, but gave the girl a few reassuring pats on the back.  

Madi released him and continued on her way.  Meanwhile, Clarke could barely watch the interaction without bursting into tears.  Damn motherhood, making her all soft.  

"So how much of that did you hear?" Clarke asked as she busied herself putting dishes away.  

Bellamy shrugged, "Not much."

A lie and they both knew it.  

 Clarke tensed as Bellamy began to walk towards her.  Her skin prickled and her mouth went dry.  She felt shy around him now, which was stupid and needless and juvenile.  She hated herself for being so affected by him.  

Bellamy cleared his throat again, "Clarke I-"

A blaring alarm sounded overhead.  Clarke's eyes snapped to his. 

"They're here," she said, her voice drowned by the alarm, but knowing he understood her nonetheless.  

Clarke ran to a set of monitors, Bellamy right behind her.  The screen showed the expanse of the lab and surrounding area, with three red dots just passing the mile marker, heading towards them.  

"Shit," Bellamy said under his breath. 

"MADI!" Clarke bellowed and began heading towards the stairs.  But the girl appeared before she had to.  

"I'm here!!" Madi ran down the stairs and was at Clarke's side.  The others shuffled down the stairs behind her, awake and alert.  

"How long do we have?"  Bellamy asked.  

"Five, seven minutes tops," a look of genuine worry on her face as she met his eyes.  

"They're here already?"  Monty asked expectantly.  

Clarke nodded.  

"So what do we do?" Emori asked, eyes flickering between her and Bellamy.  

It wasn't an easy question.  They could stay, try and fight.  The lab was a good, defensible position, but they had no idea what kind of artillery these people had or their motive.  They could run, but for how long?  And how far would they even make it?  Unfortunately there wasn't much time to try and find an answer.  

"We should run," Raven spoke up, "The garage opening is on the south side, they're coming from the north.  Once we make it to the tree line, the forest will give us cover."

"I don't think we have enough time to make it to the forest before they get here," Bellamy's low voice came from beside her.  He was probably right, but were they really prepared for a siege?  

Murphy took a step closer to Bellamy, "We can't just stay here, we'll be sitting ducks, we-"

"They found us," Clarke finding her voice, "They found us, which means they tracked the rover, which means they can do it again," She looked around the room of her newly united friends, her eyes came back to Bellamy, "There's no where else to run."

Bellamy inhaled, holding her gaze for a moment before nodding once, "This is it then."

Whether they agreed or not, the spark of a decision ignited the group.  They broke off to prepare as best they could.  Bellamy appeared in front of her.  

"We're gonna need guns," he said.  

Clarke nodded and turned to Madi, trying to keep her voice soft and light, "Deimaker, can you turn off the alarm and then go help Raven?" 

The girl's eyes looked worried, but she nodded to Clarke and went on her way.  Clarke turned back to Bellamy.  

"This way," she said, as she made her way to a large utility closet.  She opened it and began to pass Bellamy what remained of her arsenal-weapons she had found and collected over the years.  There had been no wars here on earth in the past six years, her and Madi had lived peacefully, without violence or enemies.  But a lifetime of living on the Ark and the months following the dropship landing had taught her how fast good circumstances can turn to bad.  The alarm finally stopped blaring as Clarke passed Bellamy the last rifle.  

"Hope you remember how to use this."  

Bellamy gave her a grunt in response as he swung the rifle over his shoulder.  At a nearby table they checked and loaded the weapons.  The others moved quickly around them, piling up furniture at the main entrance as a blockade.  They didn't need instruction, they knew what to do. Clarke tucked a pistol behind her back as she looked around.  The monitors with the invading red dots caught her eye.  She moved towards it, staring.  

"Bellamy?"  She called out.  Fast steps followed.  

"What is it?" 

Clarke raised her finger and pointed, "They aren't moving."  There they sat, right where she had left them, the red dots blinking at her just inside the lab's perimeter.  

She looked at Bellamy, who stood beside her, "I know what we said, but Bellamy-"

"We need to get out of here.  NOW."  Bellamy voicing her exact thoughts.  Call it instinct or paranoia, but the situation did not feel right.  She felt like they were playing into their enemy's hand, that they wanted her to see them and act out.  Evidently Bellamy felt the same.  

They sprinted to the others who were still frantically making a barricade.  

"Change of plans," Bellamy said when they reached them.  

"We're leaving in the rover," Clarke told them, "We need ammo and water.  Food we can pick up along the way."

There others looked even more worried and confused.  

"But why?"  Echo asked, "This is where we can fight them and have a chance."

"Or this is where they want us to fight them," Bellamy countered, "Look we don't have time to explain, we just need to go."

Looks were exchanged but the group went off once more to their tasks.  

"I'll get the guns," Bellamy told her, then left.  

Madi came up to Clarke, her hand wraping around Clarke's arm, "Hainofi, what's going on?"  

Clarke placed her hand on Madi's, "It's gonna be alright, we just need to get to the rover.  Can you go and grab some extra blankets for our friends?"  Clarke knew Madi did better with a task.  The girl nodded.  

"Just hurry," Clarke said, "Okay?"

"Okay," Madi responded and left to go get the blankets.  Clarke went to a shelf and pulled down a large case containing the extra battery for the rover.  She hauled it to the garage door which had thankfully NOT been barricaded.  Bellamy stepped into the doorway, taking the heavy case from Clarke.  

"Everyone's here and ready," he said.  

 "Good," Clarke said as she stepped into the garage, bright light shining in from the now open entrance.  Her eyes scanned the room.  

"Where's Madi?"  She asked aloud.  Everyone turned to her then looked around.  

"She was here a minute ago," Raven said as her eyes inspected the room as well, "Maybe she went back inside?"

Five years of being a guardian to that girl should have made Clarke accustomed to the feeling of her stomach dropping, the feeling every parent gets when they think their child is one place and they turn out not to be.  But it hadn't and Clarke resisted the urge to panic.  

"Dammit, Madi," Clarke muttered as she turned back to the house to find her.  

She took two steps before the world around her exploded.  

 

* * *

 

 

Bellamy's ears were ringing as he slowly came back to consciousness.  He coughed, his lungs protesting the dust and debris in the air.  Bellamy flickered his eyes open.  At first, his vision was blurry but soon cleared to find the world around him in chaos.  There had been an explosion, that much he understood.  The garage was in shambles, half the ceiling had fallen, boards and pieces of wall lay everywhere, the rover- still in one piece- stood covered in rubble and dust.  Bellamy looked down at himself, testing and feeling his body to make sure he was still in once piece as well.  He was, thankfully.   The ringing in his ears began to dissipate as Bellamy heard a muffled, garbled voice to his right before Murphy appeared. 

"Bellamy! Bellamy are you okay?!" 

Bellamy could only nod as he tried to sit up. 

"Wh-" Bellamy had to cough again before continuing, his voice ragged, "What happened?" 

"They bombed the damn lab, what do you think happened?"  Murphy answered, his eyes roving the damage.  He extended his arm and helped Bellamy stand.  Dizziness hit him for a moment, but it passed and he looked around for the others. 

His friends had gathered just at the entrance of the garage, which was still there but smaller now as stone and wreckage blocked the path.  Everyone was either sitting or standing, visably shaken but still upright.  Except one. 

Clarke's unmoving body lay by the others.  Bellamy's blood went cold.  He jerked his legs into movement, but Murphy grabbed his elbow, stopping him. 

"Hey, HEY!  She's okay Bellamy," Murphy told him, "She's just unconscious." 

Bellamy gave him a murderous look as he tore his arm from Murphy's grip and went to her. 

"Clarke?" He called to her, heart in his throat as he knelt beside her limp form.  He could feel his own body begin to shake and he knew it wasn't because of the explosion.  He looked her over, searching for injury.  There was a scrape on her cheek and like everyone else she was covered in soot, but otherwise appeared whole.  Tentatively he brushed the hair from her face before moving his fingers down to her throat, checking her pulse for himself, like she had taught him all those years ago.  It was there, beating strong beneath his touch.  "CLARKE?"  He called to her again, louder this time.  The body before him began to stir, and within a few moments, Clarke's eyes fluttered open.  Bellamy exhaled in agonizing relief.  The half conscious eyes found his.

"Bellamy?"  Her strained voice spoke. 

"You're okay," he told her, unable to touch her for fear of never letting her go.

With the help of Murphy, Clarke-still a bit disoriented-sat up and looked around the wrecked garage.

"Madi?  Where's Madi?" 

Bellamy followed her gaze and looked around.  Not finding the short, brunette head, worry began to creep up his spine. 

"Guys?"  His voice called out to the others, "Where's Madi?"  Bellamy was met by confused and dazed faces.  No one had an answer. 

"No," the princess behind him whispered as she forced her battered body to stand. 

If her face had been pale before it now turned snow white.  Bellamy could see the frantic panic in her eyes, the desperate need to find her charge. 

"Madi?!" Clarke's pained voice yelled, moving away from the group towards the charred door to the lab. 

She yanked on the door before anyone had the heart to stop her. 

"MADI!?" She yelled in distress.  Bellamy went to her just as the door gave way, leaving Clarke stumbling backwards.  He caught her, bringing her back to her feet, his own nerves beginning to itch with fear.  For Madi and for Clarke. 

Clarke ignored his touch and went right back to the doorway, smoke and dust exuding from it.  She coughed and waved away the smoke until the room was visable. 

When he came up beside her, he wished to god she hadn't. 

The lab was utterly destroyed.  The ceiling had completely collapsed, small fires burned throughout; the lab was no longer a standing structure, but a war zone. 

A pained whimper came from Clarke as she gazed upon the wreckage.  Bellamy reached for her.

"Clarke, I-"

A noise came from inside the lab. 

 Clarke took a frantic step into the lab, "MADI!?" She cried out.

Bellamy grabbed her around the waist, holding her back. 

"Clarke, stop!  You can't go in there!"

She protested against his hold, "Like hell I can't!!  She could be in there, Bellamy!"

"I KNOW! I know!" Bellamy held her at bay.  Fierce blue eyes spun round and he held them with his own, trying to get through to her. There was no way he was letting her through that door, but that didn't mean he was going to leave Madi to an unknown fate, "I'll go and find her, okay?" 

Clarke's mouth dropped at his proposal, "You think I'd just let you do that!?"  

"Yes I do," he said, and as a show of faith, he loosened his grip on her, "Because you know as well as I do, that it may not be just Madi in there."

Clarke's eyes narrowed, "I can defend myself, Bellamy, and Madi."

"But can you carry her if she's unconscious or hurt?  If she's caught under something, can you lift it off of her?"  Bellamy wasn't entirely sure he could at the moment, but he knew he had a better chance then she did.  Besides, he wasn't afraid of Clarke's wrath or what awaited him in the razed lab; he was afraid of what Madi might do to him if he let their princess get into danger.  

Clarke bit her lip and looked between him and the entrance to the lab, panic still in her eyes.  

"......... I-I don't........" was all she could muster.  Bellamy looked over at the group who'd been watching.  He gave Murphy and Monty a knowing look and the two began to walk towards them.  

Clarke saw this and knew what it meant.  She started backing up, "No, NO!  NO Bellamy, I will not let you go in there!!"  

"Hey," Bellamy stepped in front of her, one hand cupping her beautiful distraught face. Clarke's eyes widened at his nearness, then went soft as Bellamy placed his other hand gently on her hip. Bellamy swallowed at the contact, knowing he was breaking about a dozen unspoken rules and boundaries, but savouring the feel of her warm body nonetheless.  Reluctantly, he moved his hand to the curve of her back.  Clarke's mouth fell ever so slightly open making him hate himself just as his fingers wrapped around the cold butt of the pistol held there.  The blue eyes before him turned black as realization hit her.  Bellamy pulled the gun from her and stepped back.  

 

"I'll come back," he told her, trying to offer some reassurance.  He spoke now to the others, "Get the entrance opened up and the rover out.  We'll leave as soon as I get back."  

After years together Bellamy knew he didn't have to add the 'but don't wait too long,' part.  They knew.  Just like Murphy and Monty knew to grab Clarke just as he started to walk into the demolished lab.  

"NO!  NO! You son of a bitch, Murphy, LET ME GO!  DAMMIT BELLAMY!!! NO!!!......."  Clarke's panic-stricken voice slowly faded as the door closed behind him and he stepped further and further into hell.  

He wished there had been a better way to leave Clarke, but he knew well enough that she was never going to stay put willingly.  Strangely, a calm had come over Bellamy.  There was no pit in his stomach telling him to turn back, there was no tingle down his spin making him question his choice.  As scary as his surroundings were, he knew this was exactly where he wanted to be- where he needed to be.  He wasn't going to let her lose anyone else.  

Where the garage had been mostly dark, the lab- or what was left of it- was full of light coming from many directions.  A gaping hole in the ceiling let the daybreak sun shine through, and there were at least three, small fires he could see from where he stood.  Bellamy tightened his grip on the pistol in his hands and continued walking through the wreckage.  He heard no movement, no whir of machines, no click of a firearm being reloaded.  In fact the only sound he could hear was the crackling whip of the fires.  

"Madi?"  He called out softly, his voice echoing off the remaining steel walls.  He stood perfectly still, listening so closely he thought he could hear his own heart beat.  

 Wait.  

He listened again.  

It wasn't a heartbeat.  

 _Thunk. Thunk. Thunk._ He could hear it now.  Something hard hitting something metal.  Bellamy's pulse began to quicken as he focused and made his way towards the sound.  

"MADI?"  He called out again, this time louder.

A groan came from his left.  Bellamy turned and looked around, only to find a cavernous hole in the lab's floor.

" _Madi_ ," he almost whispered, disheartened by the sight.  

"B-Bellamy?"  A small whimper came from the pit's opening.  

"MADI!"  Bellamy cried out, holstering his pistol and throwing himself on the ground, "Madi, I'm here!  I'm coming to you!"

As elated as he was to hear her voice, Bellamy knew he had to be careful; the floor's structure was no longer trustworthy so getting to Madi wasn't going to happen without difficulty or danger.  Slowly, Bellamy crawled towards the hole, testing his weight as he went.  Small pieces of cement crumbled here and there, but eventually he made it to the edge.  

The pit was dark, taking his eyes a moment to adjust before he saw her.  She was alive for one, all extremities attached.  She sat in the rubble, her hand on a piece of stone or metal, ready to continue her SOS.   _Smart girl._

"Bellamy," she said dazedly, with a smile coming across her face when she looked up to find him.  

 "Madi!  You alright, kid!?"

Madi looked down at herself then back up to him, "I-I think so.  My leg hurts though."

From up here, Bellamy could see a gash gash on her head, and if he squinted, could just make out a dark stain on the girls pants- presumably blood.  Bellamy swallowed.  

"Can you feel your leg, Madi?  Can you wiggle your foot for me?"  He asked her, heart in his throat.  

Madi looked back down at her leg, as if focusing.  Her right foot moved up a down, allowing Bellamy to exhale in relief.  He didn't know how bad the girl had been hurt, but she was conscious, alert, and still had function in her leg, so he took the good with the bad, but he needed to get her out of there.  

A moan of metal bending and creaking came from above him, as if agreeing with him.  

"Madi, I know your leg hurts, but do you think you can stand?" He called down to her.  

She bit her lip but kept her chin up, "I'll try."

Madi grabbed whatever she could find to use as leverage to pull her body and battered leg up.  It took a few moments of adjusting, but Madi was standing, hand rested against the wall beside her for support.  

 

"Good job Madi!" he said, "Hard part's over. I'm gonna come to you now and pull you up, okay?"

"Okay," she responded shaking her head in understanding.  She must have been scared and in a lot of pain, but she sure as hell wasn't showing it.  He could think of someone else that was like that....

Still keenly aware that the remaining structures both above and below him, were on the brink of collapse, Bellamy carefully shuffled his body around the edge of the pit till he was just above Madi.  He reached down as far as he dared and extended his arm.  

"Okay kid, all you have to do is reach up and take my hand," he told her, holding her eyes with his own.  

Madi nodded and took a deep breath, gathering her courage.  She adjusted her weight, a small whimper of pain giving away just how much her leg must be hurting her.  With almost all of her weight on her left leg, Madi reached up on her tip toes to meet Bellamy's hand.  His fingers grazed hers before a loud crack came from overhead, followed by the sound of falling metal.  

"GET DOWN!"  He yelled down to Madi as he shielded his eyes from the debris.  It felt like forever but after a moment, when the noise ceased, Bellamy lifted his head.  There was more smoke and dust than before but he was fine.  He looked down into the pit.  

"Madi!"  

"I'm okay," she replied, coughing from the smoke.  

"I think we've overstayed our welcome here," he said sarcastically, "What d'ya say?"

The brave girl grit her teeth and pushed herself back on her feet, "I always wanted to be rescued from a tower," she teased with a brave grin on her face that Bellamy would never forget.  She reached her hand up once more and Bellamy stretched his arm, feeling the tendons and muscles protest but ignoring them.  In one swoop he had her wrist in his hand.  

Bellamy looked her in the eye, "Don't let go!"

He felt her tiny hand wrap around his wrist tighter in response.  Bellamy heaved his arm up the pit, taking Madi off her feet.  The effort shot pain up and down his arm but he didn't care.  With great effort, Bellamy dragged Madi's body up and over the edge.  They both collapsed on the lab floor, breathing quickly.  

"You okay, kid?" He asked between breaths.  

The response he got was Madi, flinging herself at Bellamy, her small arms tight around his neck.  

"She told me you cared...." the small voice whimpered, "She told me..."  

Small shudders told him she was crying, leaving nothing for him to do but hold her gently.

"It's okay, Madi, we're okay," he kept repeating softly to her.  Their grim surroundings faded away as he comforted the girl.  She wasn't Octavia, he knew that, but the same deeply rooted protectiveness and adoration he had for his sister, he was beginning to feel for Madi.  This scrap of a girl had woven her way into his heart in a mere matter of days, if not hours.  He saw bits of Clarke in her, mingled with her own whimsical character.   _Precious_ was certainly a word that came to mind; something to be treasured and safeguarded.  Between her, Clarke and Octavia, Bellamy didn't know how he would endure it.  

_You've got such a big heart, Bellamy._

The words echoed in his mind, causing him to hold Madi tighter.   

 He waited till Madi was still and quiet before disentangling her from him.  

"Time to get out of here," he told her, making to stand.  

"I-I don't think I can walk," she looked between him and her leg.  

"You don't need to," Bellamy replied.  He bent down and scooped up the small girl, cradled in his arms.  Her delicate hand clung to his shirt as he made his way back to the garage door.  

"Is hainofi going to be mad at me?" Madi's quiet voice asked, "For getting stuck inside?"  

Bellamy gave a half chuckle, "Trust me, Madi, all she's going to care about is that you're safe."

"That _we're_ safe," Madi corrected, her head coming to rest on his shoulder.  Bellamy wasn't so sure about Clarke's amnesty towards him, but he couldn't help melting a little at the girl's words.  

Finally they came to the garage door.  Bellamy gave it a hard kick.  The door swung open and he walked through the doorway carefully with Madi still in his arms.  The opening was still bringing light in but there was no rover or people waiting in the garage.  Before Bellamy could panic, he heard familiar voices coming from outside.  

 "They're back!"  He heard someone yell as he walked out of the garage and into the morning sun. Bellamy squinted at the light, waiting for his eyes to adjust.  He heard the quickening of feet, only taking a moment before they were surrounded, Clarke at the front.  

"Madi!  Oh my god! Are you alright?!" Clarke cupped Madi's face before inspecting her for wounds.  

Bellamy slowly put the girl down, allowing Monty to take her other arm and support her so she could stand.  

"Her head's a little banged up and she's got a gash on her leg, but other than that-" 

"I'm fine, hainofi," Madi finished for him, trying to reassure Clarke, "Really."

The princess gave a half laugh at Madi's nonchalance but Bellamy could see the tears of relief pool at the corners of her blue eyes.  

"Let's get a look at your leg, okay deimaker?"  Clarke told her, leading the group back to the rover which stood just outside the garage.  Bellamy didn't follow but pulled Murphy aside for a moment.  

"Where are they?"  He asked, looking for an update on the bombers.  

"Gone,"  Murphy replied, "Left before they even saw us come out."

Bellamy nodded, letting Murphy get back to the group.  Strange that they would just bomb them and leave.  Maybe the lab was the target after all, or maybe they were just sending a message.  Either way, they needed to be cautious.  

Bellamy rubbed his sore and abused arm, trying to think about who these people were and what their motives could be.  Lost in his thoughts, he didn't see the bounding yellow head before it was too late.  

Two hands shoved him backwards.  

"YOU!" Clarke bellowed," Are an INFURIATING-"

Shove

"STUBBORN-"

Shove

"ASS!"

Shove

Bellamy was too shocked by this outward expression of anger to retaliate.  

"DAMMIT, Bellamy, you could've been killed going in there like that!!!"  She yelled at him, her physical assault seemingly finished.  Clarke's face was flushed with anger, her eyes bright and unrelenting.  She was beautiful, really, even when angered, even when that anger was directed at him.  Clarke had never been meek or mild and six years hadn't seem to change that.  But what could he tell her?  Even if it was misplaced anger, what could he say to her?  He wasn't going to placate her; lie to her and tell her he was sorry and he'd never do anything like that again.  And he knew well enough to know that pushing her in return- verbal or physical- would only make her more enraged.  So he opened his mouth and said the only words that would make any sense.

"It was worth the risk."

The angry, flushed face before him crumbled.  Bellamy took a step towards her and that was all the prompting she needed before throwing her arms around him.  

 He didn't hesitate in returning the embrace, wrapping his sore arms tight around her, bringing her as close to his chest and his heart as was possible.  He had never forgotten what it felt like to hold Clarke in his arms, but the memory paled in comparison. 

 _This._  This was what had been missing.  This was where everything faded away; all the years separating them, all the walls that had built around them, the awkwardness and anger, all  just melted away like snow in the bright sun.  That's what she was to him- the sun.  He had lived without it for so long, he had almost forgotten how vital it was to him.  How he had continued a life and survived without it, he had no idea.  But for the first time since returning to earth, Bellamy felt like he had come home.  He didn't care that the others were probably watching, he didn't care that a few tears trickled down his face.  He was home, that was all that mattered.  _She_ was all that mattered.  Six years ago the two of them had built a relationship filled with wordless communication and unspoken understanding.  As he closed his eyes and buried his face in her hair, Bellamy thought that- just this once- it should be said out loud.

"I missed you, princess," he whispered. 

Clarke's arms around his neck pulled him tighter in response.  He felt her tears drop on his skin and her lips skim his chest, and he knew, no matter what it was that they were facing, no matter how much time and fate wanted to pull them apart, Bellamy was never letting her go again. 

 

And for the first time, he allowed himself to believe that Clarke wouldn't have it any other way.

 

 

  
 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> So I kind of plagiarized myself from a previous one shot I wrote called 'Radio Man.' This is basically a much more extended version of what I wanted that to be. Kept the nicknames though because I really liked them :) (Deikamer, means sun maker or 'sunshine' in Trig btw) Please excuse any grammar or spelling mistakes. MY BAD.  
> I may be induced to turn this into a a two or three part story but I'll see what the response is first. Hope you all enjoyed it! Fangirl on! xoxoxo


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